Business Etiquette You Should Know

By Susan Bryant, Monster Contributing Writer

What's the difference between the rising star whose career is picking up speed and his counterpart who can't seem to get the engine to turn over? Often, the star has mastered the nuances of business etiquette -- the subtle but critical behaviors that can make or break an important meeting, influence a first impression or impress a potential client.

According to Hilka Klinkenberg, director of Etiquette International, a business etiquette firm, the basics of professional etiquette are really quite simple. First, understand the difference between business etiquette and social etiquette. Business etiquette is genderless. For example, the traditional chivalrous etiquette of holding the door open for a woman is not necessary in the workplace and can even have the unintended effect of offending her. In the work environment, men and women are peers.

Second, your guiding principle should always be to treat people with consideration and respect. Although this may seem obvious, Klinkenberg cites this basic decency as a frequent casualty in today's workplace.

Here are a few of the specific dos and don'ts of business etiquette you are likely to encounter during your workday.

Introductions

The proper way to make an introduction is to introduce a lower-ranking person to a higher-ranking person. For example, if your CEO is Mrs. Jones and you are introducing administrative assistant Jane Smith to her, the correct introduction would be "Mrs. Jones, I'd like you to meet Jane Smith." If you forget a person's name while making an introduction, don't panic. Proceed with the introduction with a statement such as, "I'm sorry, your name has just slipped my mind." Omitting an introduction is a bigger faux pas than salvaging a botched introduction.

Handshakes

The physical connection you make when shaking hands with someone can leave a powerful impression. When someone's handshake is unpleasant in any way, we often associate negative character traits with that person. A firm handshake made with direct eye contact sets the stage for a positive encounter.

Women take note: To avoid any confusion during an introduction, always extend your hand when greeting someone. Remember, men and women are equals in the workplace.

Electronic Etiquette

Email, faxes, conference calls and cell phones can create a veritable landmine of professional etiquette. Just because you have the capability to reach someone 24/7, it doesn't mean you should.

Email is so prevalent in many of today's companies that the transmission of jokes, spam and personal notes often constitute more of the messages employees receive than actual work-related material. Remember that your email messages are an example of your professional correspondence. Professional correspondence does not include smiley faces or similar emoticons.

Faxes should always include your contact information, date and number of pages included. They should not be sent unsolicited -- they waste the other person's paper and tie up the lines.

Conference-call etiquette entails introducing all the participants at the beginning of the call so everyone knows who is in attendance. Since you're not able to see other participants' body language and nonverbal clues, you will have to compensate for this disadvantage by communicating very clearly. Be aware of unintentionally interrupting someone or failing to address or include attendees because you can't see them. And finally, don't put anyone on speakerphone until you have asked permission to do so.

Cellphones can be a lifesaver for many professionals. Unfortunately, if you are using a cell, you are most likely outside your office and may be preoccupied with driving, catching a flight or some other activity. Be sensitive to the fact that your listener may not be interested in a play-by-play of traffic or the other events you are experiencing during your call.

Even if you have impeccable social graces, you will inevitably have a professional blunder at some point. When this happens, Klinkenberg offers this advice: Apologize sincerely without gushing or being too effusive. State your apology like you mean it, and then move on. Making too big an issue of your mistake only magnifies the damage and makes the recipient more uncomfortable.

Are You Emotionally Tone-Deaf?

By Barbara Reinhold, Monster Contributing Writer

There's a reason women get such good press for their abilities to manage complex relationships at work, and hence for their skills as managers. Women tend to tune in to what people around them are feeling and experiencing, thus making communications and collaborations go more smoothly. This is not to suggest that meetings ought to be therapy sessions, but rather that unless the emotional issues in interactions are understood, they'll surely derail your best efforts.

Obviously, not all women are adept at reading emotions. And of course not all men are deficient in this area. But regardless of your gender, it's important to know whether you're getting the emotional signals around you or whether you're manifesting a degree of tone deafness in this regard. This will be impossible to figure out on your own, so you'll need to enlist the cooperation of one or more people at home or work to help you gauge your ability to perceive the emotional tenor of various interactions. Once you know what's going on, you can make moves to acknowledge and/or work around the land mines.

Practice is a key part of this. After every meeting or social interaction, write down the names of the people in the room, and try to attach an adjective or phrase to that person's demeanor. For example, "Jack was angry today; Myron was sad about something; Gail was anxious." Then check your perception with someone else who was in the room. Perhaps you and your consultant will disagree. ("No, I don't think Jack was angry. I think he was feeling out of his depth and needed more information. He came across as frustrated and angry, though.") What a difference that awareness would make in designing an effective intervention. Does Jack need you to find out what he's mad at, or does Jack need reassurance that this material is hard to get at first and that you'll be happy to work with him on it?

This task of learning to incorporate emotional acuity into your workplace tool kit will take some time, so don't get impatient with yourself. Working in an emotionally aware way is actually a three-step process:

·   Read the emotional signals correctly.

·   Make a gesture that shows you understand what someone's feeling. For example, say, "I know you've been working hard on this project, but there are still some problems we need to address."

·   Frame solutions that the individual or individuals will be able to take in and work with.

For example, if your assistant is someone who values relationships more than results and you're a results-oriented person, you could give a lecture on the fact that work is work in this deadline-driven environment and relationships have to come later. Or you could join with him and say something like, "I know it's important for you to feel a sense of camaraderie as you work, but it will be better for all of us if we try to be really focused on the project at hand now to meet this deadline by 4 p.m., and then take time at the end of the day to relax a little together."

But the very first step to all of this is becoming aware of the emotional agendas we all have. That's your homework. Be brave enough to ask some people who know you and will be honest with you about how well you seem to read emotional signals. Ask them for some examples they might remember of times when you missed something. Then hook up with some folks you think are good at reading the signals and ask them to help you learn to do it, too. You won't be sorry, and neither will your boss and direct reports.